Queer Death Salon is a virtual community space for all 2SLGBTQIA+ people to come together to discuss death, dying and grief.
It is a facilitated drop-in discussion space, with the purpose of building connection, skill, and resources for 2SLGBTQIA+ people navigating end of life in our personal lives and in our communities.
Attendees are welcome to come with questions, stories, or special objects to share with the group.
Connection Beyond Breath:
Living Relationships with Our Dead
Tuesday October 27 at 7pm eastern
In this collective conversation, grievers are invited to connect over ways they are or want to be in relation with their dead.
This is not an instructional session but rather a container for folks to share and hear about the variety of ways our dead show up in our lives – in dreams, memories, conversations, spaces, through animal sightings, cultural and spiritual practices, etc. – and how ongoing relationships with our dead can transform how we live, in tough, tender, and touching ways.
Fuelled by years of cultivating relationships with their dead, Case hopes participants leave this conversation both feeling more resourced to build and maintain relationships with theirs, and imagining how we, too, will want to be remembered and connected with when we join them.
“Time is queer and so is grief: grief queers time inexorably. Lose a friend and find how the lines between life and death are also a perpetual spectrum. Who knew loving our dead and naming our dying while trying to survive could be so fucking queer? I would love to meet you here.”
Protecting Sobriety Through Loss
Tuesday November 3 7pm eastern
In her life Jackie Clark has seen the overlapping power of queer and recovery communities. Getting sober after a devastating loss and staying sober through another was one of the hardest things She’s ever experienced, and it is only through deep connections with other people and a lot of truth telling that She managed.
This session is for 2SLGBTQIA+ people in recovery (however they may define it), struggling with substance use, or supporting friends and family through the same, to connect about how death and grief intersect with addiction and recovery.
Participants can expect some framing, a grounding meditation, and some prompts for peer-sharing. Participate as much as you’re comfortable (just listening is okay too)!
*A note about language and perspective:
I, Jackie, will facilitate with deep care and a concerted effort to use language as inclusively as possible. I also understand that everyone’s experiences with both addiction/substance use disorders and with grief are extremely individual. I am not an expert, but a peer with lived experience. *
Please feel free to bring your own experience to the table, and also leave behind any perspectives that do not resonate with or serve you.
Jackie Clark (she/they) is a queer person from Battersea, Ontario celebrating six years of sobriety. In her professional life she works for a non-profit and on a farm –part of that work is advocating for and building community among queer and trans farmers.
Outside of work she fills her days with fostering animals, running in the woods, and spending time with friends.
After the loss of her best friend in 2019, she worked towards harm reduction and then addiction recovery, eventually spending a year facilitating meetings for folks recovering from all types of substance use and behavioral addictions. She believes firmly in the wisdom and power of queer community to hold each other safely as we navigate grief.
Erotic Rituals to Practice Dying
Tuesday November 10 at 7pm eastern
In Caffyn’s work and play as a sacred intimate, they have participated in many Erotic Rituals to resource and practice dying.
They will offer a few embodied practices through which participants may wish to gently practice dying before they die.
Caffyn will also share from their personal experience of sitting with the Spirit of Suicidality, along with some relevant neurobiology teachings from the art and science of Sacred Intimacy.
Caffyn is a well-known teacher of Intimacy Education, a writer and a queer elder.
They are the author of Love and Death in a Queer Universe, Ecstatic Belonging, Science for Sexual Happiness, and many other books.
They offer a variety of free and paid resources on their website at www.EcstaticBelonging.com and teach online courses at www.IntimacyEducator.com
When The Dead Are Kept From Us
Tuesday November 17 7pm eastern
How do we honor our dead when they are kept from us?
What happens to us when we are denied our chance to mourn?
Let’s come together to learn about and practice building ritual for grief when we are othered.
Colleen (ʻoia/they/them) of Death Doula Does will guide participants through practical skills for honoring our mourning and grief in rituals when we have no body to hold.
Colleen is a Kanaka Maoli, Queer, mutual aider, community-oriented death doula. Supporting those dying, caregivers for the dying, and grievers for over a decade, their work focuses on art-based grief spaces, queer end-of-life planning, and teaching how to be with death.
Ask A Funeral Director
End Of Life Planning
Tuesday November 24
End of life planning can be a daunting task, especially for the queer community. Participants will learn important factors to consider when doing their own end of life planning, review key documents, and talk about what to expect when working with a funeral director when a death occurs.
Ezra Salter (they/them) is a Louisiana licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer practicing in New Orleans. They are co-creator of the Louisiana LGBTQ+ End of Life Planning Guide. Their professional focus includes advocacy for queer deathcare, green burial options, and the preservation of historic cemeteries. In their personal life they are a proud leatherdyke working to build local leather community.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR UPCOMING QUEER DEATH SALONS
Participants are encouraged to bring their own questions, stories, and complexities to share.
As always, I’m interested in having meaningful discussion groups that engage participants. If there is a question, theme, topic, or guest speaker you are interested in, please take a moment to fill in this anonymous suggestion form. You can submit as many ideas as you like.
Setting and Access:
Queer Death Salons take place online over Zoom on Tuesday evenings at 7p.m. (Eastern Time) and are regularly attended by participants from all over the world. They are hosted in English with automatic captions available and last about 90 minutes.
Attendees are welcome to participate to their level of comfort. This means cameras can be on or off, people can unmute to speak, raise their hand to be called on, participate through chat, or simply listen in after the intro portion. Queer Death Salons are not recorded.
Pay What You Can:
The suggested donation is $30 and you’re encouraged to select a price that’s accessible to you, including $0. No one will be turned away for lack of funds. By paying the highest amount that you’re able, you make it possible for others with less access to resources to join this event. Registrations take lace on Eventbrite which has a minimum donation of $1. If this amount is inaccessible to you, please email us by 5 pm eastern time the day of the event to receive the zoom link for free.
Agreements for participation:
This is a space where we intentionally come together to discuss all aspects about death, dying, and grief. Global events, personal histories, and intimate details of our lives may come up and may bring up strong emotions. Participants are encouraged to do what they need for themselves in these situations.
Racism, classism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, islamophobia, ableism, and any other form of prejudice against a person or way of life will not be tolerated. Anyone engaging in prejudice towards another group member will be subject to immediate removal.
We are curious, open, and respectful – We assume good will, ask questions, and allow space for different experiences and points of view
We take care of ourselves – We stretch, take a break, eat, mute for a bit, drink, use restroom, connect with a friend, rest, call it a night, etc. as needed for our own well-being as individuals.
We keep confidentiality – We speak from personal experience and take home learnings while taking care not to identify anyone other than oneself. If we want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said during a session, we ask first and respect their wishes.
We use inclusive language – We speak using plain language and ask clarifying questions when we aren’t sure what someone means. We make effort to use gender-neutral language as appropriate.
We are all here because we want and choose to be here – We are free to leave at any time, for any reason.
